I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
