they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
