whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
