feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
