put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
