The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Come share oat with me in your robe
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize