haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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