i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
last night I used snow as a chaser
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
