yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
