Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
