never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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