did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
