one two three fourrrrnication!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
