you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
