I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize