guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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