Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
