I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
