He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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