tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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