conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
