Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
