with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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