HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
