Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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