btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
