Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
