I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
