I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
