im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
