Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When are your genitals available?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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