I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
