i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
