Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
