i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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