There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
drinking out of a sandbucket again
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
