You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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