im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he thought i was a dude.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We left an ass print on the piano.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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