Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
A bitchslap is in order.
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