i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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