is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I want you more than these girls want KFC
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
