Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
