guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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