in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
