he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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