every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize