No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I fill condoms, not promises.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
