hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
