I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize