You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
