That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
