We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
