her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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