he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
