she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
