He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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