I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
