Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
