I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize