On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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