She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
