Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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